The Christmas Present
by The Creatress
Summary: Snape's been forced to play Santa, who must grant the wish of everyone who sits on his lap. So what will he do when Hermione makes her Christmas wish? All she wants a date.


Disclaimer - I don't own HP or anything related. I also don't own the "Young, ingénue doctor…" line – the writers of House own that.

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Author's Note:

Happy Holidays, everybody!

Luv

Creatress

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Santa Baby…

Hermione was finding it a bit difficult to breathe with the crowds pushing in on her. The air was tense. Everybody was busy and frenzied. She sighed, happily – Gods, she loved this time of year… The Holiday Season… One week before Christmas. There was even a joy in the stress.

She was a twenty-three year old mediwitch, and she still had an urge to bounce around and play in the snow when the lights went up. At the moment, she was with her parents at a mall in London, trying to get Christmas shopping done.

More precisely, at the moment, her eyes were fixated on her cell phone where she was reading an article on the internet while waiting in line. She was so thankful for it – as much as she loved the Season, she hated waiting in line with nothing to do. A book certainly would not have lasted long in this hustle and bustle.

Dr. Jane Granger reached out and started smoothing back her daughter's curls.

Hermione was completely oblivious until her mother accidentally tugged too hard on a ringlet. "Mum," Hermione moaned and half heartedly shrugged out of her mother's grasp. Taken away from her article, she looked around. They weren't inside a store, yet they were in a line. "Where are we?" she asked with a frown.

"A line, sweetheart," her mother answered. From behind her, her husband tried to disguise a snicker with a cough.

Hermione looked at him curiously before turning to face the front of the line. She got on her toes, but still couldn't see over everyone's heads. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing," her mother insisted, gently touching her hair.

Hermione got to her feet with a disappointed sigh. She hated being so short. She turned to her father.

"What's going on, Dad?"

Dr. David Granger looked at her. "Would you like Daddy to give you an upsy?" Hermione laughed and ducked away from him.

"David!" Jane frowned at him. She smiled, nevertheless and swatted him on the arm before turning to her daughter. "Just stay still, Mia."

Hermione frowned before turning and going back to her article. About ten minutes later, she glanced up and caught sight of the big event. Her mouth dropped in horror. "No," she stated. She started backing away. "Nonononono…"

Her father burst out laughing and her mother hit him again. "Hermione, honestly, act your age," Jane said, sternly.

David looked at her incredulously. "Is that what you'd call an oxymoron?" The line led straight to Santa's lap.

Hermione shook her head. "Mum, how can you do this?! I'm twenty-three, for God's sake - "

Jane reached out and petted her hair again. "No matter how old you'll get, you'll always be my baby - "

"_Mother_!"

"Fine, it's for Granma. She's been going on and on about how we don't have any of these pictures - "

"Well, it's too late, isn't it?!" Hermione asked.

"You can pass yourself off for an eighteen-year-old," her father said, trying to be helpful. "Because you're short - " He quickly shut up under the looks he received from both (rather short) women.

Hermione scowled at him and then at her mother. "I can't believe you're making me do this," she grumbled, but nevertheless turning around.

Behind her, Jane nodded in satisfaction.

When it was her turn, Hermione dragged herself to Santa and slumped down in his lap. "This is so embarrassing," she grumbled.

"You don't know the half of - " Santa growled. He paused and looked at her. "Miss Granger?"

Hermione blinked before taking a good look at St. Nick. Her jaw fell open. "Pro – Professor?"

Santa – or Snape, scowled up at her, black eyes glittering. "Yes, it's I, you daft woman - " He paused again. "What are _you_ doing here?"

'I'm dreaming. See, I've had a crush on you since sixth year and here you are, albeit dressed up like Santa Claus, and I'm sitting in your lap. … This has to be a dream, so I'm dreaming…' "Taking a picture."

"Aren't you too old to do this?"

"Aren't you too evil to do this?"

Snape smirked. "I would have thought so as well." His expression turned sour. "Albus would disagree with you."

"How did you end up here?" Hermione asked, looking at him curiously.

Snape scowled. "Long story. It involved Albus, myself, a candy cane and a rabid wildebeest." Hermione only blink a few more times in confusion before giving him a deer-in-the-headlights look. He studied her for a second – she'd never looked at him like that before. "Don't ask. Just tell me what you want."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Would you really give it to me?"

Snape nodded, looking tired. "It is honestly a long story, Miss Granger. All you need to know is that I'm granting the wishes of all the good children - " he looked at her – "and women who crawl into my lap today."

Hermione flushed a little at his words.

"So, Miss Granger," Snape purred, looking at her. "Have you been a good girl?"

Hermione bit her lip and nodded, dumbly.

"So, what do you want? Books?" Snape smirked.

Surprisingly, Hermione shook her head. 'Dinner…'

Snape tried probing her mind, but her occlumency was too strong. "Quills," he stated.

Hermione shook her head again. 'You…'

"Just tell me, then, I won't sit here all day playing this guessing game," Snape muttered.

Hermione looked at him and gathered every strand of her Gryffindor courage. She inwardly took a deep breath. "A date."

For a second, Snape didn't answer. "I beg your pardon?"

Hermione nodded. "A date," she repeated, matter-of-factly.

"A date?" Snape repeated, raising an eyebrow, obviously not believing her.

Hermione nodded, and the corner of her lips quirked. "I've been a good girl. Now give me my present. I'd like a date."

Snape stared into her innocent amber Bambi eyes and no normal man would have second-guessed her then… But Snape was no normal man. "With whom?" he asked.

Hermione sighed in exasperation and resisted the urge to smack herself on the head. Harder to resist was the urge to smack him. Who would have thought Professor Snape could be so dense? "You."

"Me?" Snape asked, still unbelieving.

Hermione nodded.

Snape narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. However, before he could answer, a man dressed up as an elf scuttled up to them. "Sir? Ma'am?" he asked. "We've already taken your picture."

"Oh, okay," Hermione mumbled, getting up. She turned to Snape. "Well?" she asked.

Snape looked at her with a frown. He figured that something was wrong with her, but… "Fine."

"Great," she said, with a smile. Snape eyed it looking for traces of nastiness or plotting, but found none – so he kept looking. He almost didn't hear her when she added, "Owl me with the details." With a short wave and another innocent smile, she bounced off the stage and disappeared into the crowd.

Snape stared after her curly head in the crowds for about a few seconds before his attention was abruptly (and painfully) diverted by a blonde hell-child jumping into his lap. However, he still had a time keeping his mind on Barbie dolls and Monster trucks and off the young woman who'd had the strangest Christmas wish he'd ever heard…

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"Snape!"

The normally poised and in-control Potions Master scrambled to cover the note he was writing. He looked up and scowled at the men who entered the classroom. As much as the date wasn't his fault, he wasn't partial to anyone knowing about it. Just the thought of certain peoples' reactions made him shudder outwardly.

Remus looked at him with a sheepish expression. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Sorry to have disturbed you," Kingsley said. "We were going to Rosmerta's. Would you like to come?"

"No," Severus answered, shortly.

"Lovely, I was hoping you'd join us," Kingsley said, wryly.

"Who're you writing a letter to?" Remus asked, staring at Severus' hands. He grinned. "Your girlfriend?"

Severus and Kingsley both shot him a disgusted look. "Grow up," Severus muttered.

"_Man_ up," Kingsley corrected. "Tonks is rubbing off on you."

Shaking his head, Severus signed the note, keeping his hand firmly over the body, which simply told Hermione to meet him at Bryanna's Place Restaurant at 7:00pm on the coming Friday. He quickly folded it up and stood.

"Why so secretive?" Kingsley asked. He smirked. "Unless it is another man?"

Severus looked at him in horror. "Not a chance in hell," he stated. He turned back around and started walking to the owlery. "For your information, it's just a book reference for Miss Granger."

"Book reference? Why would you be giving Hermione a book reference?" Remus asked.

"Because she keeps pestering me with questions."

"Five years after she graduated?" Kingsley muttered. His friend shot him look. Kingsley smirked.

"What aren't you telling us, Severus?" Remus asked, frowning.

Severus only frowned at him. "It's none of your business."

Remus seemed not to have heard him. "I doubt she's asking you questions, still. Everyone knows you like your privacy and she'd respect your wishes - "

"Unlike you."

Remus glowered at him. "In any case… I just got an owl from her this morning."

Severus froze and rounded on him. "What?" he asked.

Kingsley studied him. "Why would that affect you so much?" he asked, sounding like he was thinking out loud.

Remus blinked. "Why?"

"Did she … _Say_ anything?" Severus finished, lamely.

Remus glanced at Kingsley before looking at the Slytherin in concern. "Severus, it's a letter. The whole purpose of writing is to _say_ something."

"What's going on, Severus?" Kingsley asked, sounding both suspicious and concerned.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose to ward off a headache that was coming on. "Fine, I'll tell you," he muttered. Inwardly bracing himself, he told them about the Santa act that he was forced into, and about Hermione's request, word for word. They're reactions weren't a surprise – both men reacted just the way he predicted they would.

Kingsley just stared in surprise, the situation not having sunk in yet.

"What?" Remus – this made Severus shudder outwardly – had a big, stupid grin on his face.

Feeling particularly nasty at the moment, Severus said to him "You smile like the big, bad wolf that ate Red Hiding Hood."

The comment slid off the werewolf, whose grin only widened. The way he was looking at him made Severus start to feel a little uncomfortable.

Kingsley shook his head. "Well, I'll be damned… She wants a _date_? With _you_?" Severus nodded and he shrugged, a bit. "Well, she's quite a girl, but I would never have checked masochist in her list of attributes." Finding humour in the situation, he smirked at Severus.

Remus abandoned his big, stupid grin to shoot Kingsley a "that's-not-funny" look before returning to his previous expression and turning back to Severus. "Ah…" he sighed.

"What?!" Severus snapped.

Remus' smile (however impossible) only widened. "Young, ingénue doctor falling in love with gruff, older mentor… Her sweet, gentle nature bringing him to a closer, fuller understanding of his wounded heart," he murmured.

Kingsley chuckled and Severus only looked at Remus strangely. Remus shrugged, dopey grin still plastered onto his face. Severus glanced at the two of them. "You're both idiots," he muttered, before turning around to quickly start walking to the owlery. "If either one of you follows me, I'll call it off," he called without turning around.

"You can't!" Remus retorted, but didn't follow.

Kingsley only shook his head. "Let's tell everyone and start taking bets."

Remus looked at him. "Even I know not to do that."

"It'll take you about two minutes before you break and burst."

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"Severus has a date!" Remus exclaimed.

Everyone in the staffroom looked up.

"You've _just_ walked in the door!" Kingsley snapped, coming in after him and looking at him incredulously.

Remus shrugged. "It's exciting news."

"Severus has a what?" Dumbledore asked, face splitting into a smile similar to Remus'.

"With whom?" McGonagall asked, surprised.

Before Kingsley could respond, Remus cut in. "Guess!" he exclaimed.

Kingsley looked at him, annoyed. "Tonks is _really_ starting to rub off on you."

"Rosmerta?" Neville asked, from his seat beside Carmen Mendes, the new Potions Professor.

Remus shook his head. "No, no. She's pretty enough, but… Not quite up to Severus' IQ level."

"Umbridge?" Carmen asked.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Lord, no. Why would you think such a thing?"

Carmen only shook her head. "I don't know. I just really couldn't think of anyone."

Remus shook his head. "You people will never get this."

McGonagall frowned at him. "Then, please just tell us."

"It's Hermione," Kingsley said, shoving Remus to the side. For a split second, no one reacted. Flitwick opened his mouth, Kingsley cut him off. "Yes, Granger. How many Hermiones do you know?"

"Wh- what?" Neville asked.

"How?" Dumbledore asked, his smile growing.

Remus answered, his own smile returning. "Because of that Santa act!" he replied. "Her parents wanted a picture of her with Santa and when he asked her what she wanted, she asked him for a date!"

Neville and Carmen exchanged glances before getting up. "Headmaster?" Neville asked. "We're just going to step outside for a bit - "

"Yes, yes, go owl her," Dumbledore said.

When Neville and Carmen disappeared, McGonagall and Flitwick also got up. "I think we'll step out for a bit, too."

Dumbledore sighed and stood up himself. "Fine, let's all go and harass them together."

"Severus is going to murder you," Kingsley said to Remus.

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Hermione was playing her piano when numerous urgent taps joined the notes of Silver Bells, except she was playing it at a fast tempo, so that it sounded rather like the piano version of Christmas in Sarajevo by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. She looked up at the window in surprise. Three owls were at her window, fighting for space of the sill. Getting up, she picked up a plate of biscuits her mother had brought her and rushed to the window to let them in.

Each owl nipped a biscuit in its beak and settled on the sill as soon as it was relieved of its letter.

Opening the first letter, she smiled. It was from Snape, telling her where to meet to him. It was short and curt, but it was okay, she hadn't expected anything more.

The second was from Neville and Carmen. The neat, loopy letters told her Carmen had written it.

_Mione,_

_Are you alright? Why would you want to date Snape? Unless, you're attracted to those classic tall, dark and mysterious types. I still don't really understand, though – Neville doesn't either. Just… Why??_

_Everyone's talking about your date – and we mean, __everyone__. Even the ghosts and paintings are placing bets_

Hermione's eyebrows rose. "Placing bets?"

_And not to mention the other teachers. They're going __crazy.__ Minerva's on the rampage, but we think Albus has hidden him away… Anyways, she's writing you a letter, we think..._

_Look, we're here… If you would like to… talk or something… If this doesn't end well, we know where he lives. We can plant various poisonous herbs and potions in his abode… No, kidding… Unless you'd like us to… Drop by, will you?_

_Lots of love,_

_Carmen and Neville_

Hermione folded the letter and put it away, thinking it was funny that they were so confused and sweet that they'd invited her over. She picked up the next letter and saw McGonagall's signature at the end.

_Hermione,_

_I must speak with you as soon as possible. Owl me with when and where. Obviously, we'll have to have our meeting before your _(her neat handwriting grew a little strange, as if she had to force the word out)_ date._

_Minerva_

Hermione frowned, trying to figure out what her former teacher must have been thinking when she wrote this letter. Sighing, she got a pen and paper to write a reply. For some reason or another, she doubted that Minerva wanted to talk about what she was going to wear…

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A/n

There's ch. 1 of my short little Xmas mini-series. :P

For those of you who were wondering, yes I did get Remus' _"Young, ingénue doctor falling in love with gruff, older mentor… Her sweet, gentle nature bringing him to a closer, fuller understanding of his wounded heart,"_ is word-for-word Dr. James Wilson's reaction to House and Cameron's date. Just thought it would be a nice shout-out.

Next Chapter:

Everyone's giving advice to Severus and Hermione

Harry and Ron's reactions

Preparing for the big night


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